The War

I was born into a Muslim family. It’s a hard life when you don’t share the same beliefs especially when over the years your family has become a tad bit more fanatical. Now I am not trying to offend any Muslims here, merely just giving you my perspective. I am a different girl, saying that proudly of course. Yes, sounds so simple yet it is so…hard. The pressure I have to endure is ridiculous. If you want to be Muslim then go ahead but my beliefs are, well for starters I shouldn’t have to suffer for being a woman. I shouldn’t have to cover myself because the shameless wandering eyes of a man. Now, in Islam woman are more precious than men but I’m sure the culture in Islamic countries ruin it and degrades women. There are many more reasons but for simplicity’s sake I don’t want to get into it. This post isn’t about what I don’t agree about Islam. I’ve always wondered, “How the hell did I turn out this way?” My family has always done a firm job on leading my siblings and me towards an Islamic future. Well it worked for my siblings but not me. Although I wish it had but its just not cut out for me. My sense allows me to explore and think for myself. I will continue fighting, fighting for my beliefs. I’m at a tough place in my life right now. It’s a war everyday, but I will continue. Everyone has times of intense difficulty in their lives that test their judgement and patience which forms their mental and moral qualities. If you can’t live then there is no point in living. You live to fight and you fight to live.

Bared To Fifty


A couple months ago I was going through a severe case of book withdrawals and of course like many other women it was derived from Fifty Shades of Grey, about an undergrad student Anastasia Steele who meets a sexy, melancholic and powerful billionaire Christian Grey. As Ana gets to know him more she discovers there’s a darker side to this beautiful mysterious man.

This book opened all kinds of new doors for women all around the world, bringing their fantasies to a whole new level. After I finished the trilogy I instantly felt a void and discovered Bared To You by Sylvia Day. Now, although these two trilogies have a considerable amount of similarities for example, Gideon Cross, another powerful billionaire holding majority of the same characteristics as Christian Grey, they are two different story lines. Fifty Shades focuses more on the BDSM relating it to Christian’s demons whereas Gideon and Eva are both equally swallowed up by their torturous pasts and use each other as a guidance to serenity.

Due to the second book only just coming out, I have yet to get acquainted with Mr.Cross’s whole story. Maybe it could be darker than Mr.Grey’s and I am curious to find out. I am still at the very beginning of the book Reflect In You, as you can see I’m taking my sweet time. I regretted reading the Fifty Shades Trilogy so quickly. There is no doubt by reading the descriptions of these two fine gentlemen that they’re beyond easy on the eyes and make females dive into a lustful passion thus attempting to cultivate their own men into sex gods by outing with the plain old “vanilla” and emerging more kinky yet decadent flavors.

Encompassing My Aspirations

I have a condition. It might not seem like such a serious one but it is surely a chronic one. It’s called aspiration overload. One might wonder as to what the meaning of that term is but with my experiences I have come up with a definition of my own to best explain it -A series of multiple interests that overbear you thus accomplishing the tasks in order to reach a certain goal seems impossible due to the balance of attention placed on that task fluctuating.

To put it in simple terms, It is very difficult for me to finish what I’ve started. For example, my book. Sometimes I am very focused and many times I just couldn’t care less. Then either I just lose interest all together or I’ll gain it back. Other goals I’ve set for myself are too many that my mind crashes and I just can’t start. Crazy right? Regardless of this condition, I still fight it and try my best to overcome it. I am sure it’s better to be aspired than to be nothing.

I have got to ask, do you have this? What would you do if you did? Do you think this is a good thing or an inconvenient one to have?